2. People who are aggressive drivers or drive in such a way that makes me look like I am an aggressive driver (because of course I’m not!), especially those who don’t signal before jumping in front of me or jump in front with hardly any space for them causing me to veer off the lane or road. A pimp slap awaits you.
3. Verizon tech support service. Seriously you close after 9 (earlier on Saturdays) and aren’t open on Sundays? What kind of hillbilly foolishness is that? So if my service stops working Saturday after 5pm I’m out of luck until Monday morning? Even Comcast has around the clock service. Everyone over there, stand up in a single file line so it’s easier for me to slap you all.
4. To the woman who has my same name and almost the exact same social security number but horrendously bad credit- you got one coming. It took me several months to clear my credit when the lazy credit reporting companies just assumed you were me (even though the information is not the exact same and there were judgments against you before I was even born).
5. Lazy people. It’s a recession and you act like you don’t have to worry about keeping your job. Trust me; there are a lot of unemployed people out there willing to work hard to get the job done. And a pimp slap wake up call for you!
7. Men who cat-call very inappropriate things especially when I’m on my way to work or with colleagues or on a date. It’s embarrassing. A pimp slap to you good sir!
8. Loud neighbors. I shouldn’t have to feel that I live below a minotaur. If you can’t walk like a regular human and not at obscene hours of the night, then stay on the first floor! Knock, knock, opens door, *pimp slap*
Who would be on your pimp slap list?