SATC Talk: I Love A Charade: Is Dating Out of Your “Type” Better?

Episode 8 of the 5th season is another favorite of mine. Where Charlotte met Harry, her not so instantly attractive divorce lawyer, later husband. She is not into him when they first meet but something changes as this scene below shows.



If I was a betting gal, I can tell you what it was but it won’t make me look good. Lean in close fellas, see sometimes we ladies like to be adored and desired (in a respectful way) and an average guy (in a well tailored suit) can go from Joe Schmo to Superman with just the right words and actions. In the age of anti-romance, a guy who puts in some effort can get a major pay off.

Now that’s the nice part. Here’s the other side of why Charlotte liked Harry.

He was not her usual type. And, let’s be real for a moment. There has been an instance in my life where I’ve gone for the guy I was not attracted to after he wore me down and did the right things and made me give a second, head tilted, look. And, somewhere deep, deep, deep down in the recesses of my mind I thought “heck maybe he will treat me better than the more obvious good looking guys.”

Let me stop you ladies with a reality check, a man’s looks does not define the level of treatment you will recieve. I, and a few of my friends, have gone down this path and been met with foul ends. See a non-committal type guy of any type of look is going to know how to play the game and capitalize on his best assets to win the gal. We women think in female logic and believe that if he doesn’t look like Chris Hemsworth (sigh, Thor) and he’s flirting with us then he’s probably a nicer guy, won’t cheat and all that jazz. Because in our minds, if we thought we weren’t that hot, we’d lead with another plus like our cooking skills or humor and be great partners because we’d be under the belief that it would be harder to attract a male eye.


Maybe this is true for females, but it is not true for men. We are expected to be pretty, men are expected to provide. Therefore, they lead with that aspect of themselves and this is why women aren’t as visually concerned as men. And at the end of this season we see that after Charlotte breaks down and admits to liking Harry, he says he could never marry her because she isn’t Jewish (she later converts, talk about love!). She asks why did he even pursue her then. He pretty much replies that he’s a dude and couldn’t help it.

Morale of the story? I’m not saying you might as well just go for the hot(ter) guys because guys you aren’t immediately attracted to will break your heart as well. That would be shallow. I am saying, don’t judge a book by its cover. In the pursuit of love, looks (or lack their of) really doesn’t have much to do with it.

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