SATC Talk: A Woman’s Right to Shoes: Being Single Doesn’t Pay

The truth to episode 9 is just so real.  I didn’t quite understand until I saw it in syndication years later and many bucks spent. I have shelled out dough on friends bachelorette parties, bridal showers, weddings, baby showers, baby birthdays. Being married with kids ain’t cheap…for the friends! But I don’t mean to say that I didn’t want to be apart of my friend’s joys. I do. But as we get older, sometimes being the single friend can be a one sided deal as this clip shows.

Most of the time I don’t get birthday presents from my friends so there is no “equality” in the gift giving arena between my married/parent friends. I don’t get too huffy about it because I figure it’ll all come out in the wash when I get married and have kids….But what if I don’t? And never mind the many friends and acquaintances whose weddings I go to and give gifts to who I don’t ever hear from again. You can’t imagine how common it is for a friend to get married and then disappear from my life. As if there is some secret dimension they cross over to when they jump the broom.

However, money aside, the one thing that this episode high lights is that married and single folk have different lives and priorities. But who are we to judge each other? Carrie’s friend “shoe shamed” her because she chose to spend 400 dollars on shoes (ridiculous, yeah I’m judging) and in her married parent life spending such money would be silly unless you were rich. As a result she didn’t want to pay Carrie back for the shoes that were stolen at her house party. Well she offered to reimburse her at a lower price. She determined that Carrie was living an unimportant life because she was spending money on frivolous things like expensive shoes.  Yet, oddly enough when Carried said she was having an engagement to herself registered at the same place her 400 shoes were the friend was quick to buy the same shoes then for her.

Was it the principle? Are married friends only willing to care about single friends if its something that they can relate to as married people? I’m lucky enough to have a close married friend who doesn’t think that way but the fact that I only still remain friends with only one of the people I knew who got married speaks volumes to me. I’m willing to stay friend with all my married friends but the feeling isn’t always mutual. Do we outgrow our usefulness to have friends when we marry? I hope not because our girlfriends have a place in our lives as humans. Is that a female thing? Do males ditch their friends once they get hitched? Me thinks not.

Moral of the story, all of our lives are equally important and there is no need to shame another person for not walking the same journey you walk.